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Through the use of these habitual behaviors, a person endeavors to cope with something troubling in his or her life. At the heart of the behavior, then, is the intent to cope. But cope with what? Through psychotherapy we make this inquiry, and often what we discover is that the addictive behavior is an attempt […]

A recent New York Times article (“Quality Time, Redefined”) takes a close look at what is happening inside the American living room during this age of rampant technological development. As the article puts it: “One family. One room. Four screens. Four realities, basically.” Given the proliferation and accessibility of communication devices (the laptop, smart phone, […]

These days I work a lot with clients coming to psychotherapy with issues related to addiction. These people are often struggling with dependence on alcohol, marijuana, pornography, sex, food and other habitual behaviors. They often feel stuck with these behaviors and may have made attempts to stop that failed in the past. Sometimes, these behaviors […]

This morning I am thinking about how psychotherapy, at its essence, is about thinking. About the client and I thinking together. Joining our minds. I wrote about this some months back, and again this morning, the power of psychotherapy, the creativity really, is on my mind. Psychotherapy is about the client and therapist using their […]

In the early ‘90s, the author John Gray published his now famous book about the differences between the genders. And since then there has been fascinating research about biological and psychological differences between men and women. From my own research conducted through my work with men and women, I have to differ form Mr. Gray’s […]

There is a solution center on my computer that pops up to offer solutions to problems that occur with the computer. More often than not, the solutions center doesn’t have any solutions. Nevertheless, it is always fascinating to me that the Microsoft inventors came up with this tool. And it reminds me of just how […]

It is my view that psychotherapy is fundamentally about the search for meaning. There are some qualities of human experience that truly define us, that make us human. We are inherently social creatures – we live and grow among others and our growth throughout the lifespan is contingent on human interaction. Our intelligence, the size […]

April 04, 2011 My clients, particularly the couples I work with, are often surprised when I speak about the Golden Rule. I will often say – with apologies to anyone whose religious convictions may be upset by what I am about to say – that it is not living according to the Golden Rule that […]

The other day a client of mine was talking about how she wants to be loved in the manner that she wants to be loved. At first hearing this statement, it seemed so straight forward and simple. However, as she and I spoke, we saw what was implicit in the statement and what caused her […]

One of my most beloved of teachers during my training had a saying that has stayed with me throughout the years. He used to talk about how, in terms of human interactions, the problem wasn’t what he called “getting into trouble.” The problem was more how “to get out of trouble.” What my teacher was […]