Archive | Uncategorized

It’s been quite a while since I wrote in this blog. A new year’s resolution for 2011 for me will be to keep more current with this writing. For now, given that it is the end of the year, it seems a good time for reflection. And appreciation. There is so much to be grateful […]

Psychotherapy is about forming a relationship. And relationships are about growth and ways that we find and know ourselves. We are relational creatures. From our earliest days through our development, we relate to others. As infants we owe our existence to the interaction with caretakers. And while our physical dependency shifts as we mature and […]

Many clients who come into therapy arrive with a kind of self-sufficiency and denial of having any needs requiring others to meet. These people have made a life of providing for themselves or often being responsible for the needs of others. Sometimes they recall consciously making the decision “I won’t rely on anyone for anything.” […]

I cannot remember now where I read or heard it, but a certain adage has always stayed in my mind and impressed me: to be intimate is to be vulnerable. The intimacy of the psychotherapy relationship comes about from the experience of vulnerability. In therapy, one comes to experience that softer, more open side of […]

It is a pleasure, and a rare occurrence these “summer” days, to be outside writing this while enjoying a hot sunny day. Given how summer has been in the Bay Area this year, and how good this albeit brief respite from the fog and cold feels, it is somewhat surprising to me that my thoughts […]

There is much to be said about what beneficial effects psychotherapy can have on a person’s life and just how it works. A person feeling certain distress in his life comes to psychotherapy for relief. And the principle means of that relief, at least from my perspective, comes from talking. Putting into words one’s feelings […]

I don’t like to get too technical in these postings – that would make for pretty boring reading. But I did want to talk about a technical aspect of psychotherapy which I am fascinated about. That is called transference. It was Freud who first hatched the idea of transference. The idea basically being that we […]

Many times the question comes up during therapy: “What heals?” A client will ask, “How do I get past these issues?” And sometimes clients will say, “I’ve dealt with these issues before and they don’t go away.” Or “I’ve felt these feelings my whole life.” The question of what heals is an essential, but complicated […]

Many of my clients have had their minds taken over in childhood. This situation is not one that might be reflected in a B horror movie – though there is something horrible and sad in it. Rather, it is a too often common experience from childhood of growing up with a dominant figure who infiltrates […]

What is all this focus on emotions in psychotherapy anyways? Sometimes I wonder if my clients are wondering that. Sometimes they ask me directly. And indeed there is a lot of focus on feelings ones feelings. Often in a session, when a client is getting in touch with feelings –sadness, anger, joy – I will […]